


Walls

by Crazier_Than_You



Series: SeBlaine All Time Low Fics [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Apology fic, Based on an All Time Low Song, M/M, Tentative New Beginnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazier_Than_You/pseuds/Crazier_Than_You
Summary: It's obvious, you were too much for me. Oblivious, I was young and horny.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel (mentioned), Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: SeBlaine All Time Low Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759993
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Walls

Sebastian Smythe didn’t have a lot of regrets in his life, but Blaine Anderson was one of them. Originally, he had thought that his intense attraction to the other boy was the same as every other bashful schoolboy that he had talked into his bed— fueled exclusively by his rampant hormones and the idea that the boy would be a good lay. By the time he realized the feelings were more than just sexual, he’d already fucked everything up.

So, here he was. Ready to make amends and admit his feelings to the other boy. Recent intel had told him that Blaine was single again, and Sebastian was really just looking for a chance to lay everything out for him. Although the odds of Blaine even listening to him were low, he was always up for a challenge. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door in front of him. 

Blaine answered a few minutes later, a frown crossing his face as he took in exactly who stood on his doorstep. “Sebastian.” His name sounded cold and harsh coming from the other boy. 

He let himself survey the other boy.The break-up rumors must have been true because Blaine had deep circles under his eyes, and his usually immaculate hair was kind of a mess. He still looked perfect in Sebastian’s eyes.

“Blaine, hi. It’s good to see you again.” So not what he meant to say. If possible, Blaine’s frown grew bigger. Shit, he was going to ruin this before he even had the chance to begin. 

“Listen, I know this is out of the blue, and I know you don’t have to listen to me. But for the record, I am sorry about everything that’s happened between us, and I would love to explain myself if you would just hear me out.”

Blaine stared at him for what felt like forever. Sebastian could feel his palms grow sweaty and tried to subtly wipe them on his thighs. Obviously not subtle enough, he thought as he watched Blaine’s eyes follow the movement. He moved his eyes back up to look into Sebastian’s, and something he saw there must have clued him in to how  _ desperate _ Sebastian felt. 

“Okay, you’ve got five minutes, but any funny business or any hint that this is some kind of trick, and you’re gone, got it?” Seb sighed in relief and nodded. Blaine must have thought he was being sincere because he opened the door wider and gestured for Sebastian to come in. 

He followed Blaine down the hall to a large living room. The tv was in the corner playing  _ Dirty Dancing _ . Blaine saw him look over towards it and reached over to the tv remote and turned the movie off. Then, he turned to Sebastian, arms crossed over his chest. “Well?”

Seb took a deep breath, knowing that this was his last chance. “Look, I was a total dick towards you and your friends, especially Kurt. I wasn’t respectful of your relationship, and  _ God _ -“ he choked, feeling the tears well up. “Blaine, I almost fucking blinded you.” 

He itched to step closer to the other boy, to inspect his eye and make sure that he really hadn’t damaged it worse. But he knew that he had to respect Blaine’s boundaries here, so he stayed put and looked straight at the other boy, so he knew he wasn’t lying. 

“Look, when I was a teenager, I fell in love with a boy much older than me. He showed me the world, and then, after I had given him everything I could, he crushed my heart. Told me he had never loved me.” Seb looked away. “So, I did the only thing I could think of. I built walls up. I made sure that I was never available in the same way, and I made sure I was protected as best as I could. Sex became an escape, and whenever it felt too real, I would run away.”

“I’d been successful in never letting anybody in again, but then you arrived, and you were gorgeous and strong, and you sang like an angel. At first, I thought I had to have you just to prove that no one could be so perfect. But as time went on, and we got to know each other more and more, I felt something that terrified me— my walls were coming down. I realized how obvious it was that you were too good to be with someone as broken as me, but what can I say?” He shrugs. “I was young, I was horny. I let my anger and jealousy get the better of me, and I worked to push you away because I was scared.”

Sebastian took a breath and looked back. He was surprised that Blaine looked less hostile than he had a little while ago. Blaine’s frown had changed into a thoughtful expression— not exactly happy and forgiving, but not utter disdain either. 

“I don’t know, Sebastian. That just sounds like an excuse to me.” Blaine’s arms had come uncrossed, but he was still standing a little too far away. He was still guarded. 

“No, I fully take responsibility for all my actions. I shouldn’t have done any of them, and I don’t expect you to forgive me at all. I’m just trying to explain why they happened. Nothing can excuse what I did, and I can promise you that I will never do it again.” Sebastian could hear the desperation seep through his voice. 

“And you only came here after I broke up with Kurt to tell me, what? You have feelings for me?” The words hit Sebastian like a dagger to his heart. He knew how this looked, and he really needed the other boy to understand what was going on in his head.

“No, Blaine. I came here to tell you I love you. You’re the first person in a long time that I’ve let get so close to me. And I don’t expect you to forgive me and instantly fall into my arms. I just want to know that we can move on together, that you won’t turn away from me. That you’ll let me try to be better for you. I’m fully ready to work to get you to trust me because I’m not the same boy that I was back then. And I want the opportunity to prove it to you. If you don’t want to give it to me, then I understand. I’ll just be happy that you’re happy.” 

It was silent for a moment. Sebastian didn’t let his eyes leave the other boy’s, and he tried to convey just how much he had meant what he said. Then, Blaine sighed, and finally—  _ finally _ — stepped closer. 

“Look, while I’m not fully ready to forgive you for what you did, I am willing to give you a chance. We were really good friends, Bas, and I would be an idiot to deny that I don’t feel something for you too. But you broke my trust, you hurt my friends, and you crossed a lot of boundaries.” Sebastian lowered his eyes, feeling properly chastised. 

“That being said,” His eyes shot back up to find that Blaine was looking at him, carefully. “I understand how scary it can be to feel someone break through the walls you’ve built up. Have I ever told you why I transferred to Dalton in the first place?”

Sebastian shook his head no, and Blaine sighed. “I went to a Sadie Hawkins dance with another boy from my school, and the jocks didn’t really like that. They found us in the parking lot after, and they…” He trailed off, closing his eyes. “I ended up in the hospital for a really long time, and it took me months to start trusting people again.”

Sebastian was horrified. He had never hated himself more, “Oh Blaine, the slushie…”

“Really reminded me of that night and how scared I was. Yea, that was a really sucky thing for you to do.” Blaine gave him a wry smile. 

“I’m sorry. I’m also sorry we just left you there and didn’t try to help. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”

Blaine waved it off. “Look, it was a horrible thing to do all right, but I can still see out of both of my eyes. Like I said, I’m willing to forgive you and explore whatever this is between us, but you’re going to have to work for it.”

“Whatever I can do, I will. I’m serious about this, Blaine. I’m ready to...” he swallowed and watched as Blaine followed the movement with his eyes. “I’m ready to allow myself to fall in love again, and I would really like to do that with you.” 

Blaine moved toward him, and Sebastian felt himself start to relax, but not too much. Blaine was willing to forgive him, and give this a try. 

“Okay. You’re right. It never felt quite right to call us ‘just friends.’ But if I’m going to forgive you, the first step is you forgiving yourself, got it? You made some dumb mistakes, yea, but beating yourself up isn’t going to change that.” Blaine hesitated before grabbing his hand. 

“I care about you, Sebastian. More than you know, more than I care to admit currently. I don’t like watching you beat yourself up.” Sebastian nodded, still kind of amazed that this was happening.

“You’re also going to have to give me some time to get over Kurt. It’s still a fresh wound that I’m in the process of healing, but with time, I think that this could work between us.” Blaine looked up into Sebastian’s eyes, and Sebastian felt his heart swell looking into those brown eyes that he loved so much. “Of course, anything for you.”

Blaine laughed now. “I guess I can stop talking shit about you to all of my friends.” Sebastian laughed too. 

“That might be nice. I gotta find a way to make them like me after all.” They giggled a little longer before Blaine jerked his head to the tv. 

“Do you wanna stay and watch  _ Dirty Dancing _ with me? He looked down at the floor waiting for an answer. Sebastian stepped forward. 

“There’s nothing I would like more.” Blaine looked back up at him and grinned. Hesitantly, he reached for Sebastian’s hand and threaded their fingers together, leading him over to the couch and turning the movie back on. Sebastian smiled, content. 

  
They had a long way to go on the road to forgiveness, but for now, they could hang out, watch  _ Dirty Dancing _ , and hold hands and slowly work on breaking down their walls together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the second fic I've written for this series. Sorry, this is a little more ramble-y than the first one.


End file.
